The Chatty Homemaker

Finding joy in every day life with a large family

rainbow over waving sea in nature

There are Consequences to our Actions, Good, and Bad

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Consequence defined

Our actions have consequences.

The word consequence defined in the Webster’s 1828 dictionary is this: Following, as the natural effect; Effect; that which follows a cause.

The cause being our actions, and the effect being the consequence of our actions.

One good example is the rain and rainbow. We need the rain, it is a good thing. When the sun shines through it we see a rainbow, another good, and beautiful thing. The rain is sent by God to water the earth. It is essential for life in all of its forms. The rainbow is a good consequence of the rain. Not only is it beautiful to look upon, but it is a reminder of God’s covenant with man to never destroy the earth with water again. Two gifts from our marvelous creator wrapped up in one great example of cause and effect. We didn’t even get into the water cycle, that’s for another day.

Now on to the rest of the content for today.

Good Consequences

When we hear, “There are consequences to your actions,” we automatically think, “Oh, no! What did I do?” We usually associate this phrase with negative actions. We sometimes forget that our actions also have good consequences. For example, the consequences of prayer are: a better, and more intimate relationship with God, close fellowship with God, peace from God, our needs, and desires met, forgiveness, a more tender heart, and a joyful spirit. That’s just to name a few. These are good consequences.

Another example could be raising kids with godly character. Your actions in raising up children in the nurture, and admonition of the Lord, will have good consequences. These children are more likely to have a strong work ethic, and moral integrity. They will excel in all that they do because they will have a desire to please God first, and also you as their parent. These will also be more likely to have good marriages, and be kind to others. Again this list could go on, and on.

Just as if you do something wrong you reap negative consequences, when you do something right you reap positive consequences. Like jay walking can get you run over, when you use the pedestrian cross walk correctly this chance is much lower. Likewise if you are driving too fast, and weaving in and out of traffic you are more likely to cause an accident than those who are following the laws of the road.

Bad Consequences

At this point I think we all understand that there are bad consequences that go along with wrong decisions. We, as parents, wish this was a truth that our children understood very early in life. I have a couple of children right now who are still in the, “Why do you make me be in trouble”, stage of life. They fully think that when they get into trouble it is my fault, or my husband’s fault. They don’t yet fully understand cause and effect. Some things just take time, and more trial and error than we want them to. If we just stick to our guns, and don’t give up thinking, “what’s it good for anyway, they just don’t get it,” it will eventually click.

I found myself explaining this concept to one of my youngsters last night, about an hour after bedtime. This is one of them who does not like sleeping alone. She also just really doesn’t like sleep in general. She thought it would be a great idea to pester her two sisters so that they would stay awake with her. They did not like this bad decision she made, so they came to me, and asked me to stop her. I told her if she did not go to sleep right away she would be sleeping alone. She made the wrong decision, and ended up alone for the night. She didn’t like it then, but thanked me this morning.

Learning to deal with teenage decision making

Learning to deal with teenage decision making is hard work. When those teenage hormones kick in they become completely different people. It’s almost like their memory gets wiped, and rewritten, and cause and effect disappear from their memory banks. This is when no matter how badly we want to keep control, and make sure they don’t make harmful decisions, we have to begin letting them have a bit more control. Now I am not sayin that we back off and quit being their parent, but rather allow them to make some small guided decisions. This way they feel a bit more in control of themselves, but know that they are still under your authority.

I am also not saying that you completely give up all control all at once, or that you allow them to make life altering decisions. After all they are hormonal teenagers. The more right decisions you see them make the more you can let go. It is our job to, train them up in the way they should go, so that when they go they don’t fall on their face. Not lord over them and strangle their independence so that when they get out on their own they fall on their face, and continue to rely on you for everything.

It is hard to watch them make the wrong choices, but it’s better to let them do it now than later. Keep accountability practices in place, of course. We don’t want to give them an opportunity to ruin their lives or anything. Start out by planting ideas, and making them believe they are coming up with things on their own. Let them flex their creative problem solving muscles.

The consequences of your hard work

Raising children with godly character is no easy task. They will test your patience, and upset you. You will have times when you feel like you are failing, or aren’t good enough. All we can do is our best. That goes for every person in every situation. Not just in raising children. We are all sinners, and will make mistakes. When you make a mistake, and realize it, it is very important to acknowledge them and make it right. First with God then with anyone whom you may have offended in those mistakes. That alone will help your kids to have a more godly character than if you never talk about it and they know you have messed up. Never glorify sin, but talk to your kids about your experiences and the consequences of your past actions. Allow them to learn form your mistakes.

The consequences of your hard work are well worth every tear, heartache, trouble, and joy you will have in the process of raising them up right. You will be able to glory in your kids, and grandkids. God will be pleased with your hard work. Remember that just as this work is hard, it is also rewarding, fulfilling, and fun! Have grace on your kids and yourself, and enjoy your time with your kids. It goes by much too fast. Don’t live in the consequences of bad parental choices once it is too late to own up and fix it.

Scripture references

Here are a few scripture references for you to look at for more encouragement.

Proverbs 22:6

Psalm 37:4

Ephesians 6:4

Philippians 4:6

Hebrews 5:7

James 4:2

Stay joyful and be blessed. I love and appreciate you all.

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